Call me old fashioned but I just don’t like the idea of children having televisions in their rooms.
It’s a question is cropping up more frequently: “Mum, can I have a television in my room?”
The answer is always the same: “No, you can’t.”
Call me old fashioned – and no doubt many of you will – but I just don’t like the idea of children having televisions in their rooms.
Watch TV together
I prefer TV watching to be a family activity, something we can comment on together and laugh about. Heaven knows we are all busy and it’s difficult enough to get everyone together to enjoy a meal together, never mind having the children skulk off to their rooms to watch telly (and sometimes the same programme I am watching in the lounge).
Bedrooms are havens - place for me-time, a bit of privacy and relaxation. I don’t want their bedrooms to be places where they spend all their time, hidden away and becoming more anti social into the process. That, I believe, is the beginning of the family unit fracturing. Who wants to be in a family that lives entirely separate lives under one roof? That’ll happen soon enough, anyway!
I appreciate there are times when we want to watch different programmes – and that’s fine. At the risk of being branded a hypocrite, there is a portable TV in my bedroom that I use when I want to escape the endless hours of football or darts.
The children also use it when they want to watch something we don’t. So, if I let them use my TV, why won’t I let them have one of their own?
Controlling TV habits
It’s all to do with control.
My stance has little to do with arguments that TVs in children’s rooms hinders their learning (a few academic studies have claimed this) or the fact that the Association of Teachers and Lecturers complained two years ago that growing numbers of children were picking up bad behavioural habits because they viewed inappropriate programmes.
But supervision is a concern.
How can I be absolutely certain what they are watching if they are in their own rooms? I can’t hover over them 24/7. And how can I guarantee they are not sneaking in a programme at 11pm when I'm asleep?
Eleanor disagrees with me. Her children, aged five and nine, share a room that has a TV in it.
“After being tucked in and cuddles, they have some sleepy telly time, then it goes off,” she says. “I’ve never had any issues. They only ever watch it before bed and weekend mornings.”
Have you bought a TV for your youngster's room - or are you adamant they shouldn't have one?
Author Abi Burlingham also allowed a TV in her children’s rooms when they reached the age of seven. “[I] don't especially like the idea, but it cut out a lot of the arguments about which programme was going on, plus I don't like TV on downstairs too much, but understand the kids sometimes have things they want to watch,” she says.
“I think different sex children with bigger age gaps influence the decision as they are at different stages and want different things, for example, Tracy Beaker vs Scrubs or Dr Who.”
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mum
24 October, 2011
I'm with you - no telly in bedrooms. My kids have stopped campaigning because they know the answer. I'm not even happy with them using laptops in their rooms.
admin
25 October, 2011
This post is very interesting because I personally wouldn't want my kids to have a telly in their rooms but I guess if it works for some kids / parents I don't see any harm. Mine are still small but I'm sure the future will see lots of disagreements over TV programmes!
We only have one telly at the moment but I may consider having a spare one (hidden away!) in our room solely for use when specific programmes clash, like you have Jayne, or I might see how recording programmes works as a compromise (?!).. time will tell!
Also, like you Jayne, I don't like the idea of our family all living separate lives under one roof either - I would be concerned that my child might seem distant or that I wouldn't know how they are feeling. But also I do see that some kids could have a TV in their room and perhaps not be 'controlled' by it or not be particularly interested in it enough for it to affect them much.
Supervision is the key I guess. To know that my child isn't a) watching too much TV and b) watching inappropriate programmes is a must for me!
Thanks Jayne, great post!
Sue
Ready For Ten team
27 October, 2011
I agree Jayne - my children ask every so often, and can always find an example of a friend who has a TV in their room, but to me, if they want to watch TV, they do it downstairs, where we all do it together. There's plenty of other things to do in their rooms, and they both love to read at bedtime, which I find is a better wind down for them than what is on the TV at that time of night.
mum
27 October, 2011
Apologies for not responding to your comments sooner. I appreciate being backed-up on this one as I always get the impression I'm the only mum to deny them televisual pleasure! It's good to know I'm not on my own (and I'm surprised I've not been accused of hypocrisy yet over letting them watch TV in my room!).
27 October, 2011
I agree Jayne - my children ask every so often, and can always find an example of a friend who has a TV in their room, but to me, if they want to watch TV, they do it downstairs, where we all do it together. There's plenty of other things to do in their rooms, and they both love to read at bedtime, which I find is a better wind down for them than what is on the TV at that time of night.
31 October, 2011
A difficult dilemma. I think a lot of kids are allowed to watch TV, so that their parents can get on with other things, and while I never wanted to be the sort of mom to allow the TV to babysit, I know that there are times when I need to do something in particular, that if I sit Ollie down watching a film, he'll be quite happy. I do however, love the part of the day when Ollie and I "snuggle up" on the sofa and chill out watching TV together and would hate that to stop if he had a TV in his room. I'm sure I'd get to have a lie in if he did have a TV in his bedroom, but I don't like kids to shut themselves away as you don't know what they'll end up watching.
editor
02 November, 2011
My girls haven't had a telly in their room up to now but I have just bought one -- eek.
07 November, 2011
I completly disagree, having a telivision in the kids' rooms is completly acceptable. Having freeview built in is an advantage that we can all use. Like the cbeebies channel is on freeview, my 14yr old still enjoys watching the odd 'mr tumble' every once in a while. So having a tv is fine in my household.