Staying in touch from abroad

Claire Hills-Denyer moved from Lancashire to Canada with her husband and seven-year-old daughter Martha last year. She says, "With all the planning you do when you decide to move, being away from loved ones is something you can never really plan for." But there are ways to make it easier. 

Have you emigrated? Do you have any keeping in touch tips? Here are some I have discovered.

It's good to talk

When my parents emigrated in the late sixties, phone calls were so expensive that they only called home twice a year. Now there's a huge range of call plans to suit your circumstances and budget. Angela McGill, who - along with her husband and two children - moved from Scotland to North Carolina five years ago says, "We speak to my parents on the phone every week or two and I find that we always talk for close to an hour each time, so it really is quality time." 

Get everyone online

Although you may be used to chatting with friends online, what about relatives, particularly the older generation? "My parents were quite computer savvy, but Andy's parents had never even turned on a computer before we decided to move to Canada," Claire says. "Now they have been to computer classes at their local college so they can send and receive emails." 

"Facebook has been great for keeping in touch with friends," Angela says. "The world really is a much smaller place now than it was even when we moved. It's great when people post photos and blogs, so you find that you don't miss anyone as much as you thought you would. In fact, there are plenty of folks who I actually know better now, through online communication, than when we lived in the same town!"

Skype's the limit

Another benefit of making sure relatives are computer savvy is Skype, which enables users to make voice or video calls over the internet for free. "We would really struggle without Skype," Claire says. "Martha can show her grandparents the gap where her tooth fell out, I can see my nephews' enthusiasm as they show me things they have done at school. And it's free, which means we can all chat and share our news for as long as we want without having to worry about the cost of the call."

Plan a visit

But no matter how often you speak to or chat with family, it's obviously not the same as seeing them in person. "Nothing makes up for the touch and smell of someone you love," Claire says. "Those times become so much more precious when you don't know the next time will be." It's a good idea to book your first visit (either for you to come back or for family to go out) before you even make the move. That way you've got something to look forward to and you all know that you will see each other again. 

But you don't have to have everyone come to stay with you, particularly when you're just setting in. Angela has a solution: "We try to organise meet-ups with family in fun, 'neutral' places where it will be a holiday for everybody, rather than just staying with relatives or having to play hostess (both very stressful)." 

Accept change 

Probably the most important thing is for everyone to understand that things will be different, but that's not necessarily a bad thing - it's easy to take family and friends for granted when you see them all the time. Angela agrees: "We find that although we see family less, when we do see them we spend quality time together and we do fun, holiday things, like meals in restaurants and sightseeing, rather than just sitting about each other's houses."