Help! My son hates reading

At six my daughter didn't like reading either. I've always read to her at bedtime she she was born. I think the reason was that she just couldn't understand a lot of the words. She is seven and a half now and has only just caught the reading bug. The first thing she 'read' was a book about Ice Age 3 because we'd just watched the film. Hang in there. It took my daughter a while.

Oh Keris I really sympathise, my seven year old son is the same, which was a bit of a shock because his sister is a huge book fan. I wrote this post which has some ideas for getting non-readers reading http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2009/05/18/top-10-ways-to-get-reluctant-readers-reading/

I have found the best way to entice him is with graphic novel style books which feed into other interests like Doctor Who. The Lego Star Wars Visual Directory was a big hit too. Whilst he can read quite well now, he tends to have 3 or 4 favourite books that he rotates. I think you just have to let him take the lead and find books that link in to his other interests.

My son is 8, although he is a good reader he struggles to get excited about books, much to my horror. I have tried the following:

1. He is a huge Harry Potter fan so I took him to the local library to join and he picked a Harry Potter book. He picked it up once but had no desire to read it.
2. I bought one of my old favourite books 'The magic faraway tree' by Enid Blyton and gave it to him to read. No joy.
3. I went with him into school to pick some interesting factual books; Sporting Events and The History of Black... he has read them to me but I really have to force him to sit down and do it.
4. This morning he was tired before school so I said a good idea was to get into bed and read for abit, it would make him sleepy. He replied that he would rather play his Nintendo DS!

However, I am not going to stress myself. On the plus side he loves maths, plays lots of sport so reading is not one of his number passions, but he's only little and it may eventually click.

It is tempting to want to live your own childhood through your children. Just because you loved reading it doesn't mean your children will too. But support them with what they are good at. I was never great at maths when I was his age so am rather proud he doesn't follow in my footsteps!

Yes, Don't force the issue. Kids who have been read to a lot and see their parents reading (especially dads or friends' dads in the case of boys) generally come round in the end. It doesn't matter what they read either cereal packets, recipes, road signs, instructions are all OK. Sometimes kids think that storytime with Mum or Dad will stop as soon as they can read so are reluctant to try. And if they love sophisticated stories read to them why would they want to bother with straightforward reading schemes. Hang on in there.

My eight-year-old is the same. He loves all things gadget, do you think he might be more likely to read on a Kindle or similar?

Keris I completely sympathise. I used to lecture in Psychology and Linguistics and my specialist area was dyslexia etc and it used to drive me insane that I knew lots about the theory of why kids can't or won't read and it didn't help my son. He was reluctant and not very good at it at aged 6.

He found it a chore and even being a good 6 year old reader gives limited rewards to the reader - compared to TV or xbox - so it's easy to see why they just don't get it. I was not always cool about it but tried to not get to pushy about it and put comics and tonnes of books his way.

Then he found Mr Gum (Andrew Stanton) and something clicked. There's a chapter in the first book that is only one line long. Dom thought this was not only hilarious but gave him the sense of satisfaction and achievement he'd not had before - he read a whole chapter in a night! For him it was really important to read within or just below what he was capable of doing easily - that's what allowed him get something out of it and not just be 'work'.

And now, aged 11, he's mid way through book 5 of Robert Muchamore's Cherub Series and he only got the first book in the series at Christmas - and if you saw him on a daily basis you'd swear he was never off his flaming ipod! I make a point of telling him he's reading too much and that seems to keep him interested.

I'm writing children's novels now and Dom is my biggest critic, so be careful what you wish for!

I seem to be at the other end of the spectrum here as my eight year old (daughter) won't stop reading and I have to battle her into lights off every night. I've discovered her at midnight on the last chapter of a Roald Dahl. Nothing's ever perfect ;)

Thank you for all the wonderful and incredibly helpful comments.

Ellen - Harry loves my Kindle but I didn't think to let him try and read on it (mainly because I had to password protect it after he bought a book on it!) but I will now. And thanks, M, for the Andrew Stanton suggestion - we've seen his book's in the library so we'll give him a go.

I'll report back!

Thanks so much for this post Keris, will look forward to an update, of course I am of the 'don't push it, don't force it, let it happen naturally, it will surely happen if reading is meant to be,' persuasion.

Linda, I'm on that persuasion too... in theory. (And whaddaya mean 'if reading is meant to be'? It has to be!) ;)

Keris, my son reads a lot but has a preference for non-fiction, is it worth tempting Harry with a book about something he is really interested in? I am sure you would have thought of this already.

Thanks, Rebecca. Yes, he always chooses factual books from the library, but again he wants me to read them to him, rather than him reading them himself.

I really wouldn't worry. At all. I think he's still very little to be thinking about whether he's caught the reading bug. If you think that in many countries/education systems children would only now, or even later, be just learning.

My son wasn't interested in the slightest but now, aged 14, he reads avidly and has done for a few years.

Have you tried the Captain Underpants books? Can't remember what age they are for. Or Horrid Henry? Lots of parents dislike those but who cares if they're reading?

PS. Do you think he may have caught on to your anxieties? Kids seem to have an inbuilt radar for that and it usually works against you!

Thanks, Deb. I'm glad you think he's a bit young - I do too, but the school does not (which is probably what I'll be writing about next month!). I have tried Captain Underpants and no go. We've just got a factual Horrid Henry book, which I think he'll be quite keen on.

He may have picked up on my stress, but I don't think so. Now writing stress, yes, almost certainly, but that's another story. :(

I'd really echo the comments about 6 being quite young to be reading a lot on their own. In many, in fact nearly all other than the U.K, countries he would only just be starting school and being taught to read.
My 10-year-old had always been a huge reader from very early on yet his 7-year-old brother is only just getting to the stage of sitting down and reading for pleasure - so each child has to go at their own pace.
In terms of reading material, you have to rethink from your own treasured memories from childhood. Instead of The Railway Children, think the Beano - both my sons are addicts. Instead of the Secret Garden, think Mr Gum (and go and see the author if he comes to an event near you - he's great for boys). I'd also recommend The Magic Tree House series, Ben 10 annuals and Usborne's factual illustrated books on...well anything really.
A last tip that *sometimes* works: I often read the first two chapters of a new book at bedtime but on the next night, it's 'I'll be there soon - I'm a bit busy' when asked to read the next chapter. If it's an exciting enough book, the next few pages of the next chapter gets read on its own. I'll then come along and finish off the chapter.
Good Luck and don't worry - it's still early days at 6!

Thanks, Becky. It's funny - I know that about other countries and have said that to other people, but have managed to completely forget all about that, probably because I'm feeling pressure from the school (which is what I think I'll be writing about next month...).

I'm about to make a "reading corner" in my house. My childminder suggested it to me a while ago and I thought it was a great idea. She has one in her house and its somewhere that the kids can go and it be nice and quiet and its also relaxing. She has a big squashy cushion on the floor, and some bean bags. She has fairy lights and pretty voile fabric around the area and it really is lovely. It's my project for next weekend. Although I'm sure if I went missing in our house, it wouldn't be long before I was found with my nose in a book, chilling out in my - oops sorry - our - reading retreat.

I LOVE that idea, Kim! We actually turned my office into an office/playroom for doing homework, etc. Worked really well for a while, but of course it's now full of washing, charity shop bags, etc. Actually there is a spare corner I didn't know what to do with... Thanks!

All three of my children love being read to, but only my 4 year old actually wants to read (he just started reception). My nearly 7 year old struggles and would much rather be read to, than read herself.

It's a bit crazy in our house after school, and the only time I get to sit and let my older two read is at bedtime, which quite frankly is too late as they are both shattered by then. How do other parents cope with reading time (my husband is rarely home by bedtime and I've got two "readers" to get through)?

Leigh
Ready for Ten Team

I see your struggle, Leigh! I imagine putting 3 young children to bed on your own is exhausting and time consuming enough without squeezing in the reading too! Perhaps after tucking in your youngest, you could settle down your 4 year old with a book that he likes to try to read on his own, then start off reading together with your nearly 7 year old and encourage her to try to read alone while you finish off reading with your 4 year old, then tuck him in.. then get back to reading with your nearly 7 year old before tucking her in?!! Oh dear, I'm just guessing really.. maybe you have tried all this.. good luck anyway!

This is a great post, Keris. It's so natural for us to encourage our children to do things, especially things that we love doing and especially clever things! English children do start learning from an earlier age than our European neighbours' children do, which I'm sure has it's pros and cons, but it's also made me think a bit about how I could do with relaxing a bit more and not worrying so much about whether or not my son is behind in his learning.

And I love your Parentdish article, Joanne - I've saved that for a later date! In fact all these comments have given me food for thought. When my sons do start learning to read, I'll try to make it as fun as possible and try to keep my own nose in a book as much as possible too!

I like your idea too, Becky, about reading a chapter or two with them at first and then letting them read on their own until you get back and read a bit more with them. Tip noted and filed!

Sue
Ready For Ten Team