Do you censor your children's reading?

Hi Keris, thanks for such an interesting post - I wouldn't censor any of the above passages but then we didn't read Enid Blyton in the first place. Reading your extract from Jeremy Strong makes me laugh, in a good way.
I'm hoping to teach my girls that anything they'd like to do is possible, if a teacher makes a comment that would appear to make them think they're destined for a life of domestic "drudgery" just because they are girls, they are as likely to raise an eyebrow as I am. But at the same time I think we have to be careful not to give our children too narrow a view - if a book, or an advert or a teacher portrays women as care givers, or lovers of pink, or mums - that has to be okay up to a point so, because there's nothing wrong with any of that - it's when it's the only view it becomes a problem I think - care givers and mums are some of the most, if mot the most, important figures in our world. I'd hate to think that my children grew up without a respect for that.
My daughter says she wants to be a teacher and a mum. She also laughs at Jeremy Strong.

Oh I absolutely agree with that, Linda - I'm not saying there's anything wrong with staying home with the children, of course (I do it myself). (But I still think the Jeremy Strong passage is appalling!)

I'm going to be like my nan now and keep coming back with "... and another thing!" But what I wanted to add was that obviously I also want Harry to believe he can do anything he wants to INCLUDING staying home and raising children. While obviously I hope he has respect for women (including me!) who do that, I want him to know it's something men can do too. That is something that's rarely (if ever, I can't think of an example, but I'd be delighted to hear of any) represented in books.

Very interesting post Keris. I don't censor what my children read but I don't let is pass without comment or discussion. For the Jeremy Strong bit I'd have probably said "That's mean isn't it?" and hope that Pete gets his comeuppance. We haven't read any Enid Blyton but only because my girls just aren't interested (Michael Morpurgo takes precedence apparently). I don't think I'll be encouraging Blyton now, having been reminded of the sexual stereotypes. How did we not notice when we were kids?

The Jeremy Strong thing is quite shocking in some ways, but then again it's also realistic as that is the kind of thing kids say to each other. I don't think books should be so PC as to not be able to contain these kind of things which people do actually say. And like you say, he may well have learnt the error of his ways. I haven't really come across this in any of the books my kids are reading so far, but it's mainly modern stuff. I think the Enid Blyton thing is worse really.

Thanks, Maggie. A few friends have said their children aren't interested in Enid Blyton either because it's so old-fashioned. Harry certainly found it a bit boring, which I was surprised by (I loved the Faraway Tree books SO MUCH!).

Catherine, I'm glad you find it shocking (I was wondering if it was just me), but I don't think it being realistic is a good enough excuse. I've been having this debate lately re my own book and using words like "retard" and "gay" (to mean stupid) which kids do use, but I certainly don't want to perpetuate.

Hi Keris, thanks for this thought provoking post. My first thoughts, especially with the Enid Blyton books is that these stories were written when male and female roles were very different to how they are now and if this sparks a conversation with children about how times have changed then I think that can only be a good thing. I don't censor the books my children read, I just love to see them reading and questioning things and having an opinion.

One of my sons is just about to take his SATS and a substantial element of the literacy is reading a passage and giving your thoughts and opinions on it, what you agree and disagree with. So getting children to read books that spark a reaction is good practise for later years. If some of the stories are about things you don't personally agree with, then that is a good opportunity to put your opinion forward and let your child know how you feel about a particular issue.

My son is just reading the 'Diary of a Wimpy Kid' books and sometimes the content in these makes me raise an eyebrow, but I know that I'm bringing my boys up to understand what is right and wrong and that they don't have to believe everything they read.

I agree, Carol - like I say, that's what I'll do when Harry's older - but at the moment, he just wants an entertaining story, not a discussion.

And I'm glad you mentioned Diary of a Wimpy Kid - that's another book in which I expected him to get his comeuppance, but he doesn't, he's just as obnoxious at the ending as he is at the beginning! I won't stop Harry reading it if and when he wants to - although I'll tell him why I don't like it - but I won't be reading it to him.

I was brought up by very traditional parents, and had to make cups of tea for my family and do the washing up every night, whilst my brother was made to focus on his homework and my Dad read the paper. I was also an avid Enid Blyton reader. In adult life my brother and I are equally high achievers and I expect everyone in my family to pull their weight. I think a smart child who is allowed to read any age-appropriate material, and who is taught to value themselves and question what they see in the world, will make up their own mind about what is appropriate for them in life.

I agree with that too, Actually Mummy. As I've said, once Harry's reading for himself that's fine, anything goes. But I am currently reading to him and I choose not to read things that I find inappropriate or offensive.

Also (I'm doing the nan thing again), lots of people have these "I read them and it didn't do me any harm" anecdotes, but that really doesn't prove anything. Yes, there are plenty of women who are as or more successful than men, but we still live in a patriarchal society and haven't actually moved on significantly from the ideas seen in the Blyton books. But that's a whole other discussion...

I am currently reading the 3 Faraway Tree books to my 6 year old son, as, like you, I have fond memories of them from my own childhood. I agree with you that Enid Blyton is very much 'of her time', and winced a little when reading the parts you mention. I chose not to avoid these parts or indeed to comment on them, as I didn't wanted to make an issue of it. Because of this, I don't think that my son even noticed anything, ie he probably thinks that each character helped with that particular chore on that particular day, as opposed to seeing it as a rigid societal pigeon-holing according to gender, which of course it was. In his own family and beyond, my son sees genders doing all sorts of things that would be regarded by Blyton's generation as 'non stereotypical', so I'm sure he will grow up with a more balanced view. While the occasional sentence will no doubt colour your experience, it would be a shame if these preclude you enjoying a trip back to your childhood. I am certainly loving our nightly chapters, even though he is capable of reading the books on his own!

Thanks, Claire. That's a really good point - I don't know whether Harry would even notice, but I'd still prefer not to read them to him. I haven't let it stop me enjoying them though - I read them a couple of years ago along with Malory Towers (which still makes me want to go to boarding school!).

Ah but see I didn't encourage any stories about boarding schools - I would have scowled all the way through :)

My kids read anything and everything, we discuss the things that they question, and I don't worry about books being out of time. Big already picks up on things that are questionable - such as in a recent series she read where the boys did active hero type things and the girls didn't. Small doesn't, but he also know better than to repeat things he's read without checking with me ;)

The only thing I've refused to read aloud were the rainbow fairy books on the grounds that they are dreadful literature and once you've read one you've read them all. Which worked well in encouraging Big to read for herself and work her way through over 30 of them!

I think we can overthink things, particularly the influence of things like books. It's interaction with ppl that makes the real difference, so I'd be tempted to worry more about peer influence and what's going on in the world around them first of all.

Hmm, Linda, so what you're saying is you censored those books? Or you had a sense of humour failure about them? ;) x

Thanks, jaxb.

"...he also know better than to repeat things he's read without checking with me ;)" It's funny, there's a brilliant picture book called It's A Book, but it ends with the line "It's a book, Jackass" (one of the characters is a donkey called Jackass). I told Harry he mustn't ever repeat that and now he won't read the book. He calls it "the book with the naughty word."

"I'd be tempted to worry more about peer influence and what's going on in the world around them first of all." I disagree. Or rather, I agree, but I think a lot of the attitudes of peers and what's going on in the world comes from popular culture, which obviously includes books.

Very interesting post, Keris. I never really got on with Enid Blyton myself (I know - sacrilege!) apart from Daryl at Mallory Towers series so that particular problem hasn't arisen. But I disagree with the plans to update the Blyton books to make them more streetwise - that was more of an issue with language I think. They are outmoded but they are what they are. My son is a big Jeremy Strong fan and I think not censoring but discussing what the character said and what they think about it can only be good. Characters can say all sorts of silly things but they're not necessarily the way things are - that's how I get over it anyway.

Both.

Thanks, Alison. I loved Daryl too. I disagree with the updates in general too (although I can see the reasoning behind changing the names). I haven't ruled out Jeremy Strong altogether - I know there's a book that's something about "my little brother's bum" and Harry will love that idea, but I'll be reading it myself before deciding whether or not to read it to Harry.

Gosh what a lively discussion :-)

I too loved Enid Blyton as a child and I don't remember ever thinking that they were old fashioned or sexist at the time. Looking at the passages above I see now that they are.

My eldest daughter isn't ready for books with no pictures yet, but when she is this is something I will have to think carefully about. It is not something I had really considered before. I don't think I would censor it as such, but would probably take a similar approach to Carol and refer to the changes that have occured between when the books were written, and life today.

Just like Claire, our children also see Daddy changing nappies and cooking, and Mummy doing DIY so they are very aware that no task is chosen on the basis of gender.

Thanks for a very interesting debate.

Leigh
Ready for Ten Team