Oh no, my son's going through an exhibitionist phase

"Stop getting your bum out!" is currently one of the most often-repeated sentences in our house. My seven-year-old, Harry, is never happier than when he's dropping his pants, dangling… something over the front of them, or parading round completely naked. 

From talking to friends, this seems to be a phase all children go through. Sometimes it can be inspired by incidents they've witnessed in their own families - after one friend's new baby was born, her older son started taking off his top to breastfeed a toy monkey whenever the mood took him - but often they just like to get naked because it's fun. 

My eyes! My eyes!

I remember one of my nephews going through a similar phase to the point where if he said, "Aunty Keris - look at this!" I was scared to turn round. Same nephew would come in from school and have totally stripped off before he'd even reached the living room. The other morning, I asked Harry to get his uniform on while I got his two-year-old brother dressed. When I came back with Joe all suited and booted, I found Harry, starkers but for his socks, watching TV with one foot up on the coffee table.

I must admit, I like that he's so comfortable in his own skin, but I also need him to know when and where it's appropriate. He's reached the stage where certain parts (I'm trying to be delicate) occasionally "go big" and it thrills him so much that he wants to tell everyone. The other morning on the way to school, he was telling me about it when I spotted one of his friends approaching. I quickly told Harry that anything under his clothes he should only really talk about at home. He stopped talking, but I could see he was puzzled and I wasn't really sure what to say to him. 

Keep your privates private

So I turned to Joanne Mallon, Ready for Ten's parenting expert: "What I tend to say is a gentle 'Your private bits are just for you - that's why they're called private parts', and just repeat this as necessary. Keep it neutral, don't get judgemental or embarrassed yourself - your child will pick up on whatever attitude you display. I think a big trap many parents fall into is to start over-explaining, when you really don't need to."

She adds, "The thing with Ready for Ten aged kids is that they are really not that far off puberty (for some girls it can start from nine) so a certain amount of body-consciousness will start to creep in naturally. So I don't think parents need to do much, because the stage when children are entirely unselfconscious is relatively brief. If anything, we could learn a lot from our children who are fascinated by their own bodies and have no negative physical hang-ups."

Further reading

If your child is very curious about their body then there are lots of good books around - Chewy, Gooey, Rumble, Plop! is a great one for younger children or try Hair in Funny Places by Babette Cole.