Getting the kids back to school is hard on your purse, says Alice Castle.
It's that time again. Even if you’re lucky enough to have been away for six whole weeks without access to a telly, the moment you step back in the UK one thing is clear. It’s time to buy a whole load of new clobber for the kids. Every ad is about where to get the cheapest uniform, or the most expensive, and novel , felt tip pens, and of course my children have been glued to them. Not the shirt ones, let’s get that straight right away. They are not at all interested in my finding a bargain. No, what they want is a sort of supermarket sweep of the stationery department.
Pencil case pleas
‘Everyone has a new pencil case in September. Everyone,’ they plead, eyes as big as bushbabies.
‘And a new ruler/rubber/set square/compass/Tippex/pencil sharpener/calculator ….’
‘But what happened to your old ones?’ I’ll say, perplexed.
‘Oh, they’re broken/lost/dropped/run out of batteries/chipped/bent/stolen …..’ Any excuse short of ‘kidnapped by aliens’ is brought into play.
I am now convinced that shops are running the cheap shirts as loss leaders, to drag parents into their shops, only to recoup all that money on the ludicriously expensive special propelling pencils and day-glo highlighters that no self-respecting nine year old can live without.
Bags of woe
I wouldn’t mind, well, not too much, but the pencil case and its mind-boggling array of contents is just the start of the back-to-school spending avalanche. Next comes the school bag.
The older your child gets, the more finicky they will become about this. If you are lucky enough to have a school bag that’s part of the uniform, then I salute your school choice. Don’t ever let your child leave that school. Unfortunately, uniform school bags have never been an option for my girls and, as they have assured me, even if they had been an option, it would have been an option that no-one in their right mind would ever take. Sigh.
Last year, I hit gold on the school bag nightmare, when I found a stock of uber-trendy Roxy backpacks at lovely TK Maxx, for only £7 a go. That was the kind of discovery that brings a glow to my cheeks even a year on. This time around, Cath Kidston was the way the girls wanted to go, so I managed to track down some bags reduced to half price in the sale.
But why do they even need a new schoolbag, I hear you cry? Surely the one from last year is fine. Oh, I have tried this one so many times. I have even washed bags on a gentle setting to get them (reasonably) pristine to face a new academic year. But, it seems, I am just about the most evil parent in the land. No one, but no one, should be forced to go into school on the first day of term carrying the bag they had last year. If they do, they are doomed to three terms’ worth of shame and humiliation and that would be, of course, All My Fault.
Feet first
Once the bag is done, as my fellow writer Jayne Howarth observes, shoes are next on the agenda. There is not a child’s foot in the land that does not take full advantage of the summer holidays to grow gleefully out of its shoes. My girls’ feet are no exception. Luckily, having had them measured a lot in their youth, I now know that both have exceptionally wide feet and so a lot of styles are out from the start. So I can take them to Marks and Spencer or John Lewis and get shoes which are a little less like a downpayment on your mortgage than some brands tend to be.
Even here, the retail horror isn’t always over. For those taking packed lunches, there is the whole lunch box/water bottle/sandwich case business to negotiate. One trip to Paperchase was enough to convince me that hot lunches were the way to go. Even if they don’t eat them (and they won’t), it will be more economical than kitting them out with a whole range of accessories plastered with cute little dancing vegetables.
So, equipped with bulging pencil case, fresh new bag, unscuffed shoes and beaming faces, my girls are all set for September. And, like the first drifting leaf of Autumn, I am braced for the first wail of ‘Oh Mum, my new calculator/highlighter pen/rubber doesn’t work …..’
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mum
08 September, 2011
Ah! School bags ... now my daughter is in secondary school this is a bigger joy than ever to sort out. Her A4 lever arch file (which is approximately half her body weight) doesn't fit into most bags, which is a complete pain. So not only do I have to watch her struggle to school with a massive folder (and, no, she is not allowed to leave it - or anything, it seems - in her locker), I can't find a bag big enough that is suitable.
Meanwhile, son was perfectly happy with a £5 backpack from Asda. Thank goodness for small mercies!
mum
08 September, 2011
Phew, thank goodness you have a sensible son! I do worry about my children suffering permanent back problems, they have to carry so much clobber around .... I remember leaving most of my schoolbooks at school in the secondary, mind you I probably wasn't supposed to :)
admin
08 September, 2011
Ahh luckily for me my two are in first school so apart from their book bag (available from the office) they don't need anything else at all! I'm dreading the day that changes.
Leigh
Ready for Ten Team
mum
09 September, 2011
Oh, you're definitely one of the lucky ones, Leigh ... long may it last!
mum
09 September, 2011
Ah that's so funny :) I left mine a little late (they went back to school yesterday) and Monday saw me £25.00 lighter. On stationery alone!! £25 each on school bags (I know, right?) and two pairs of £45.00 shoes. I'm off to sell my body...
editor
10 September, 2011
How much did you get Becky?
23 September, 2011
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