My embarrassing dancing is clearly a good thing even if it means my son comes home with tattoos.
When I asked my six-year-old son if he would like to go to the school disco, his answer was unequivocal.
“Yes, and I want to go on my own.”
What had I done at the last one that was so embarrassing that he didn't want me at his side on the dance floor again?
I think the answer's in the question.
Yet I was delighted in the confidence he was showing in wanting to go alone. Like another single parent on Ready for Ten I am keen to raise an independent child. And moments like this indicate to me that we are headed in the right direction.
Other parents at the school did not agree. Some openly denied their children passage to the latest school social solo.
Now I wasn’t proposing seeing him off my doorstop and leaving a key for him under our welcome mat -- like we have a welcome mat. The disco is supervised, parents leave contact numbers, and I would be a three minute walk from the school.
But still, some parents said their children ‘weren’t ready’, when in reality I think it is them struggling with the idea.
Personally I saw this as a great step towards further independence. Is it all that different to attending school normally?
Well yes, there are some not so subtle differences.
A tuck shop operates at the disco, so I sent my son armed with £2 and prayed for the best.
He is yet to get a full grasp of the monetary system. When I asked him to explain it to me, he confidently announced you hand money over and in return you get the drink or snack you asked for as well as money back. What he struggled to grasp was that the money returned is change, and not a perpetual cycle.
Again, this was an opportunity to practically explain how finance works rather than it being a problem.
He didn’t come home dehydrated or malnourished, however he did have four, yes four, temporary tattoos. Perhaps not a great sign for an uneventful future when I am waving him off for a night on the tiles.
But basically by being a total embarrassment I am actually encouraging my child to be more independent.
Is this your philosophy too?
Photo Credit: Ian Newbold The boys perfecting their dance moves
Other posts you may like
Love Ian Newbold’s post? Read more 
5 Comments
Post a comment
You must be signed in to post to Ready for Ten.
Haven’t registered? It’s really quick and simple.
editor
11 February, 2011
Ian thanks for making me smile. This reminds me of when my daughters first had school dinners and parents were asked to go in with them to "help" - I told their teacher they could get on with it. Thinking about it she seemed a little taken aback, but by the time they were at school, if memory serves me right, they knew that to eat you opened your mouth and put food in it.
mum
11 February, 2011
My daughter is easily embarrassed by everything I do at the moment. (Surely not so?) I'm no longer allowed to hover around at the school gates in the morning to check that she really has gone inside. I have to stand "well back" - her words. I see it as a good thing. Like with Max it means she is becoming more independent and able to do things without me. I wondered, in your photo, if Daddy Pig lying face down on the floor had any significant meaning at all, Ian?
dad
11 February, 2011
Any time Linda. Max's school seems quite good at encouraging independence, in fact they discourage parent involvement at certain things. Like they have tried to stop parents coming in to school with their children to help take coats off etc.
dad
11 February, 2011
Hi Rosie, we're not quite there yet. I am still allowed to give him a kiss as he queues for school. And I have no idea why Daddy Pig took a nose dive, probably knackered.
02 March, 2012
Great post, and you have reassured me about sending my daughter to the school disco today. She is six, and at her school parents aren't allowed to attend. A lot of parents think that the kids are too young to go to discos on their own, and refuse to let them go. But the disco is supervised by several adults, and to me it's no different from leaving their children at a birthday party, (which many of the 'disapproving' parents do on a regular basis).
I am proud of my daughter that she wants to go to this event by herself; I don't want her to grow up too quickly, which I think is one thing that these parents are worried about, but equally I don't want her to miss out on fun experiences, gaining some independence, and being with her friends.
I was searching on "6 year old" and "school disco", and I came across your blog. And I'm glad I did, as some of the parents were making me feel a little bit irresponsible for sending her, and I don't think I am. Glad to find a like-minded parent! :)