Miss E is changing. At the park she does her own thing while I watch over Miss M. At the school gates she heads off with barely a glance over her shoulder. Not surprisingly this newfound independence is branching into other parts of her life.
E is nine. She is bright, articulate, imaginative and sensitive, and usually she knows her limits. More to the point, both her dad and I know her limits. We know what is likely to frighten or upset her.
The thing is, nine is a funny age. Kid stuff can seem a little too childish, but grown-up stuff is equally at times a world away.
Recently Mr B (Daddy), allowed E to watch the first Angels episode of Dr Who. Two weeks on she is still afraid to be in a room by herself, and she’s struggling to sleep.
I might have done the same. With M I have no issue with telling her she’s too young, but with E I’m not always sure what to do any more. I want her to have the confidence to try new things and if she feels she’s ready to do something, who am I to tell her she’s wrong?
The Mail online received some interesting comments this week when Lizzie Smith asked ‘Is Dr Who too scary for kids?’ and it has also been a recent topic on Mumsnet.
I suppose the ultimate question is; at what point should we give them the freedom to choose, even if it means finding something out the hard way and spending an hour behind the sofa? What do you think?
- Watch out for an expert post from Ready for Ten's Joanne Mallon about how to help encourage your children's independence.
Useful resources
Website ‘Parenting Styles’ features a great article on independence in children, and both RFT Rosie and RFT Wendy have touched on this subject in recent posts.
Other posts you may like
Love Jo Beaufoix’s post? Read more 
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14 May, 2010
This is a tricky subject - it's hard to let them choose for themselves if you know they will be scared - but is being a little bit scared not exciting in a way? I remember being terrified of Ghostbusters... And sleeping with the lights of for weeks - I think each situation needs to be judged individually.
14 May, 2010
My boy (7) has been watching DW since DT started. I've never had any problem with him watching it as, for me, it was an important part of childhood. He didn't like the werewolf episode and Blink but he's had no problems with being scared at any other episodes and makes me watch all the repeats all the time. When he was 4 he watched Jaws with his 15 year old sister, she lasted 10 minutes, it's now his favourite film! I've always explained to him that it's just a television show/film and they're not real. He seems to have accepted that especially now that you see lots more actors in different roles, Merlin in DW for example. The only thing that does worry him is the news, usually you know what's going to be featured so I can decide whether to let him watch or not.
mum
14 May, 2010
My Boys - eight and 10 - adore Doctor Who. I sat between them during the Stone Angels episodes and the younger one especially was terrified. We do, however, do a big chat about how they did the effects and the making of the programme, it seems to help them understand it's just as story. I, on the other hand, was busy on my net book at the time because I just find it too scary to watch with full concentration!
14 May, 2010
@Ellen I love Dr Who, but as a kid I was behind the settee as soon as the music started. E has always been a bit of a worrier which is why she's not watched it before, but I think a lot of her friends watch it so she really wanted to give it a go. Knowing E she'll leave it a few months/years before she watches it again. :D
@Wendy I think you're right. E and I are similar though in that if something really creeps us out it stays with us for a while. I watched 'The Ring' when pregnant with Miss M and I had to have the light on for weeks, and I was 29. It seems she gets her wussdom (tis so a word) from me.
@peabee72 that's exactly the same as E. It's good they're able to say that something has frightened them, but it's hard dealing with the aftermath isn't it. We've done all the 'It's not real. They're actors' stuff but E just sobs that it still scares her. I like Elle's idea of talking about how the effects are created. We might have that chat if it's still an issue when she comes home. She's away with school for the first time this weekend and I'm hoping all will be well...
14 May, 2010
Briggy that's great. Miss M (five) watched Dr Who quite happiky too and there have been no ill effects. She's very different to her big sis though. E loves Children's Newsround, but like you I'm a bit more guarded with the usual news as sometimes it's just too much. The other day Children's Newsround did di a piece on Dr Who's Angels episode and we had to turn it off. I think we're just going to have to wait this one out. :(
14 May, 2010
We've been through exactly the same thing with Boy Wonder (8). He was desperate to watch DW and I felt that he should be allowed to exercise some control and make his choice. He watched the first couple of episodes and was a bit nervous but still confident that he wanted to watch more. We talked about it and decided to watch on iplayer on a Sunday morning instead, to try and ensure there were no night time jitters. The weeping angels episodes finished him off though, he now can't go anywhere in the house on his own - even during the day. He's scared of the dark anyway so always has a nightlight but the daytime jumpiness is new. He's finally admitted it's down to DW and has agreed that it's best not to watch it for now. I can remember being terrified of the Daleks and, like Wendy says, it's part of the adrenalin rush, but when it affects every other aspect of their day I think it's gone too far. I'm not a horror fan and neither can I watch thriller's alone so he may just have to accept that he's got his mum's jumpiness and find a new fave :)
admin
17 May, 2010
My five year old has not expressed an interest in watching it, but was recently watching a dvd (chicken little) and came and asked me to switch it off as it was too scary, so I'm happy that she knows her limits in terms of scary movies.
Leigh
Ready for Ten Team
18 May, 2010
My 7 year old gg (gorgeous girl!) also wants to watch Dr Who and we settled down to watch the angels episode. Halfway through though I took the parental decision to turn it off as she was visibly shaken by it. Afterwards at bedtime she said to me," Mummy, I'm glad you switched it off, I didn't want to ask you to cos I didn't want to be a baby,but I'm glad you did!" Bless her!!