Like lots of mums, I'm finding this a new issue for me and my daughter but I think we have it under control.
The pressure placed on young girls today to dress in a sexy and grown up fashion has been all over the press lately with Primark's padded bikini grabbing the headlines. It's this trend of premature sexualisation of young girls which prompted Mumsnet to create the Let Girls be Girls campaign. In my opinion this is an important campaign and one I will follow closely.
Up until recently my daughter had been happy to wear whatever I bought. Her dissatisfaction with her clothes began when she was laughed at during a PE lesson for wearing High School Musical pants. According to her friends, High School Musical is only for babies and she should be wearing shorts and crop top bra style vests. I must admit to being surprised, I hadn't expected arguments about clothes to start until she was a teenager.
Style is becoming an important issue for my daughter and I'm happy to let her help to choose some new clothes. I feel it's important to accept she wants to express herself and her personality. However she is only six and in my opinion, bra-style vests, slashed backless tops and trousers with 'cute' or 'babe' written across the bottom are unacceptable.
In an effort to reach a compromise, we've discussed why I won't allow her to dress in a style that's too old. I've explained to her that some styles of clothes are designed to make women look sexy and that when she's an adult it's fine for her to choose to wear them. But while she's still a little girl, it's not okay. She luckily accepted this and was happy with my suggested compromise of new jeans and denim shorts, sporty vest tops and new jewellery and head scarves. I also suggested that we buy her some lip gloss and glitter nail varnish as a compromise for the full make-up set she had requested. She loved the idea of her own new make-up and I feel the bright glitter colours keep the whole thing fun.
My top shopping tips are:
- Buy plain denim jeans, shorts and skirts as they are easy to dress up with accessories but wear well whilst she is still playing.
- Only take her into shops which you know sell styles you like too. I particularly like Next and Fat Face. I feel they offer trendy clothes which don't appear too grown up.
- Buy some fun make up such as glittery nail varnish. I feel this can help to make her feel as if she is being more grown up.
How do you deal with your little girl wanting to look much older than she really is? Does this cause arguments in your family? Or do you have the whole thing sussed?
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mum
26 April, 2010
I think you're right it's a girl thing. My Boys are almost entirely uninterested in fashion of any type. Boy Two prefers bright colours and loud pictures but thereafter it doesn't seem to matter. I love Outnumbered too, it has me crying with laughter it's so well seen.
26 April, 2010
Amy likes to choose her own clothes but I do think there's a limit. She gets fed up of wearing pink and has told me often that I shouldn't buy her pink clothes anymore. And as for HSM!
CJ xx
26 April, 2010
my Little woo is a nightmare insisting on Ted Baker and Miss Sixty clothes in all fairness she see's her older sister wearing them and wants them herself. We have so far managed to stay in the im STILL only 7 range of clothes although it is heading to the im 7 but want to look like im 16 range her dad will be so pleased when this happens lol.
mum
26 April, 2010
LOL Linda! I feel the same with my girls, I'm especially lacking in the "doing nice hair styles" department.
I do love Mini Boden because the clothes are not overtly sexy or grown up but equally they are a bit fashionable so your child won't feel as if they stand out like a sore thumb. Well, they won't round here because *every* child wears MB.
It is expensive but the online sale is good. I have found some wholesome, lovely stuff in George and Next but you do have sift through the really fashionable stuff.
Y'know what I wish you could still get - denim dungarees. Just ordinary dungaress. Can't find any anywhere...
26 April, 2010
Mums of girls have always had my sympathy because it has always been difficult to keep them within their chronological ages. The pressure from the fashion industry is a disgrace, as is the amount of money that is expected to be spent on clothes that will soon be out grown.
editor
27 April, 2010
This is such sensitive issue, sounds to me like you have it well sorted Wendy! I sometimes think my girls are missing out because their mum knows nothing about nice clothes and make up.
admin
27 April, 2010
This is such a big issue and if I ever have a girl I think I will despair! Hopefully she would be as accepting as Wendy's daughter is, but no doubt the pressure they feel at school must be enormous. Great idea to work around what they can have and to get them something new, if that's possible, to make them feel they have a new style! There are so many nice ranges of clothes out there for girls - in much more volume than for the boys! I love Next kid's stuff too :)
Sue
Ready For Ten team
27 April, 2010
Hurramph. Am feeling slightly short changed here as my DD has been fussy with clothes for ages and she's only 3.5.
In our case I think it must be genetic as I can remember being exactly the same. I especially remember refusing to wear trousers because I didn't like the noise they made - now I look back at the photos and realise why, it was the 70s and the flares were flared!
I get round it by ordering stuff I know she'll like online (standard tops and trousers) and for other things, like outfits for parties, I take her to one or two shops and let her pick something. Sometimes she chooses hideous things and I have the right to veto and I use it! I can't be bothered arguing about it, and I've learned the hard way that if she doesn't like something, there will be tears about wearing it.
I can't be bothered arguing about it, but I guess I'm lucky that the ranges for her age group tend to be OK. I like Marks, Gap, Boden and Debenhams best. I don't really find things I like in Next very often, but sometimes they have lovely things.
One thing that annoys me is how many girls' coats are pink. It's impossible to spot your own girl in a crowded park etc. so I usually try to get her a different colour coat.
I'm not looking forward to the peer pressure stuff, but I think I probably would give in a bit, I hated being forced to stand out when I was younger.
27 April, 2010
Sorry for repeating myself above!
mum
27 April, 2010
Thankfully we haven't had to deal with peer pressure too much, as my 8yo doesn't seem to care too much. She happily wears HSM pants! I tend to buy her clothes without her as if I take her shopping, we end up with a load of branded tat. She's happy to still look like a little girl, with the odd bit of nail varnish and some silver ballet pumps. I also use mini boden, although they are expensive out of the sale, our local children's clothes shop which sells a wide range of non-branded stuff, and the usuals like H&M. One thing I hate is my children being walking adverts, so I rarely buy stuff with logos.
27 April, 2010
@Cheryl Hughes - We have not quite reached the dad not allowing her to leave the house in her choice of clothes but I know that day is coming :)
27 April, 2010
@DebCarrots - ooo I am rubbish at hair styles - I often think all the other mums sneaked off to a hair styling class that I didn't know about!
27 April, 2010
@JFB - you make a great point - the amount of money spent on clothes which will soon be outgrown is huge! I do pass on the clothes still wearable when my children grow out of them - usually to friends or charity shops.
27 April, 2010
@Jo Austin - I agree with you on giving in a little bit - sometimes it needs to be done as fitting in with their friends is very important to them.