My daughter is torn between playing with her dolls and giving them up.
I'll be up front here, I like to see children playing with dolls, I like watching the whole mini mummy style role play, I find it cute. I was more than happy to surround my young daughter with the world of Baby Annabell and all that comes with it, the prams, the bottles, the carriers and all manner of vital accessories. What I wasn't prepared for however, was her complete and utter aversion to anything doll. I fully appreciate all children are different and have unique preferences and interests, but I expected dolls to just be part of a girl's life.
Thinking back I can probably put the hatred of dolls down to the fact they came on the scene around the same time as her baby brother. A constantly crying baby brother, who she took a very long time to bond with. It seemed that having an actual baby in the house completely put her off any type of maternal style role play. Therefore the Baby Annabell, her pram and accessories were banished away to the loft, completely untouched, unloved and unplayed with.
Then recently, she wanted all her dolls brought back out and finally decided to play with them. She has spent hours lost in her own little world of playing house, taking them for walks in the pram and at last really enjoying them.
However this happy interlude of playing with dolls has lasted only a couple of weeks. When she last had a friend for tea that little friend told her that dolls were for babies and no big girls ever played with them. So now she doesn't want her dolls. She wants them to be put away so her friends won't see them.
I've told her that if she enjoys playing with the dolls she should continue to do so. I'd love for her to continue playing with them for a little longer, after all she is only just seven. However I've decided to encourage her to make her own decision, I think it's important to respect her choice to give up dolls even though I feel she is still quite young. I must admit I'm secretly quite looking forward to the extra space if she decides they go.
I think the age a child stops playing with dolls really does just depend on the child. However, if my daughter reached ten and was still playing with them I would have to intervene I certainly wouldn't want her to be starting high school and still playing with dolls. She would be ridiculed.
Do your children still play with baby dolls and prams? At what age do you think they should be giving up this type of play activity?
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mum
24 May, 2010
My daughter has a doll but is not as into it as your daughter is. She has a pushchair and even a mini car for her doll (yes, really!) but doesn't play with any of them that often. Her teddy bear is in the pushchair at the moment. I don't worry about it at all. I think they grow out of these things when they are ready. :)
mum
24 May, 2010
Great thought provoking post Wendy!
I do think, though, that it's sad you would intervene if she was still playing with dolls at ten. My older girls weren't and aren't but I wouldn't mind if they did. It's creative plus I'm sure a good way of working out some tricky emotions that they feel. The fact that a 10-year-old was still playing with dolls needn't be advertised to mean high school friends, but in a subtle way.
I don't think I have any particular view on appropriate ages for doll play. As long as possible I think!
mum
24 May, 2010
Totally agree, I don't see any reason for stopping a child playing with any kind of toy if they love it. They've got the rest of their lives to 'put away childish things'.
admin
24 May, 2010
This is an interesting post Wendy! My little cherub is 5 but absolutely loves her dolls and has a fair number of them. She goes through phases of playing with them then ignores them for a few weeks, then goes back to them. Perhaps you could try putting them in a basket/storage box with the lid off in her room (her private space) so that they are "packed away" but still in view for her. If she is a little shy she could play with them in her room rather than have them in the main living areas of the house when her friends come round? Not that I think she should hide them, but perhaps she might be more comfortable if they weren't out on view?
Leigh
Ready for Ten Team
expert
24 May, 2010
My ten year old still has a special dolly that she loves which always goes with her on sleepovers. She's also just recently got into Sylvanian Families which I think most children discover much earlier. But I think it's really sweet that she does this - much more preferable than acting too old for your age.
24 May, 2010
Your little girl sounds like lovely Wendy, and if she wants to play with her dolls then I'd encourage it. Miss E is nine and has just recently started putting her dolls to one side. She has no intention of giving them up though and I'm really happy with that. To be honest I love seeing her sat playing 'make believe' with her five year old sister. Today they had a ton of Miss M's My Little Ponies out and had a fab time. If your little one has friends round who are no longer into dolls or might tease her then maybe she can just pop them in the wardrobe or under the bed or something. I'm hoping my two stay kids for as long as possible so I'm not going to fix a time by which they should be done with certain things. They'll just move on when they're ready I hope.
25 May, 2010
@RFT Writers - thanks for all the comments - I agree that the dolls could be played with in a subtle unadvertised way - and yes if need be hiding them away when friends come for tea. However I still think that if my child was starting high school and still playing with dolls she would be seriously ridiculed should any of her peer group find out. I would just not want her to be bullied. Although I would imagine she will grow out of dolls prior to high school. As for Sylvanian Families I should think they will be with us forever!
27 May, 2010
This is a really thought-provoking post. In my experience, the way kids play with dolls tends to evolve as they grow up -- from simple maternal role-playing to acting out more complicated dramas.
I think dolls can be a great prop in the whole 'pretend that...' chapter of play that sadly sort of dries up around ten for a lot of kids. I don't believe there's a 'right' time to put away the dolls -- imaginative kids will play in all sorts of ways and as long as that play seems to be good for the child (and doesn't lead to ridicule, as you point out!), I say they should play away.
Full disclosure: I played with dolls, Barbies and My Little Ponies until at least eight (and am now a reasonably well-adjusted adult employed in a creative industry!).