The hairdressers is off limits in our house due to my scissor-happy antics.
My daughter, aged 7, flatly refuses to go to the hairdressers. Even a mention of having her hair cut throws her into a panic. This would not be a problem if I had a natural talent for cutting hair, but I don’t, which means her hair is getting longer and longer.
The fact that she won’t tie her hair back in a nice neat pony tail makes it all the more obvious that she is in desperate need of a good cut and style. Her anxiety at visiting the hairdressers seems to be more of a phobia than just plain stubbornness.
The cause of this lies largely at my door, after I decided to cut her hair myself one morning before school some years ago.
It seemed a good idea at the time. Her shoulder-length hair was becoming unmanageable and out of frustration I decided to trim the ends. The mistake I made was using a very sharp pair of household scissors – best suited for cutting thick cardboard – which made it all too easy to suddenly discover I’d cut two inches off one side of her hair.
All I could then do was continue to cut all the way round her hair in an attempt to create something that looked like a ‘bob’. The little girl who doesn’t like change suddenly had a dramatic new haircut. An emergency trip to the hairdressers after school was necessary to repair the damage.
Over two years later, my daughter is still refusing to have her hair cut, which is hardly surprising. But once again it is getting increasingly difficult to manage. Washing and drying it is a long and tedious task, she often gets paint in it at school and I am dreading the day she arrives home with nits.
This month she starts swimming lessons at school. A nice neat haircut would be perfect. Something tells me that’s not going to happen.
Is my child the only one reluctant to have her hair cut? If this is something you have experienced do let me know how you coped.
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expert
06 January, 2011
Rosie, my daughter is exactly the same and is on a mission to have waist length hair. I take the attitude that you have to pick your battles with kids, and this is one I'm not hugely bothered about, so I (mostly) let it go. If she gets nits (which seems to happen about once a year), then I insist on giving it a trim. I use proper hairdressing scissors (inexpensive ones from Boots) and take the opportunity to lop off as much as I can get away with.
For day to day grooming a Tangle Teezer really helps http://www.tangleteezer.com/ When she did school swimming lessons I put her hair in plaits.
mum
06 January, 2011
Thanks Joanne. Buying some hairdressing scissors sounds a really good idea. I'll check out Tangle Teezer too. You're right though, this probably isn't a battle worth having at this stage. It seems better to let it go. I'll probably be complaining that she is spending too long in the bathroom doing her hair and make-up when she is older!
mum
06 January, 2011
Hi Rosie,
Great post. I've got a son who won't have his hair cut because someone once told him it was 'cool'. Now he looks like he's got a nest on his head. We're going to sort it out after school today (hopefully).
mum
06 January, 2011
Hi Ellen, based on experience, my advice would be - don't attempt to cut it yourself with extra sharp household scissors!
mum
06 January, 2011
Deb, I love the idea of a mobile hairdresser. A lot of her anxieties seem to be around the idea of going somewhere strange and having to wear a gown and sit on a large chair watching herself in the mirror. So having her hair cut at home would solve that. I like the idea of shopping in Claire's too. She won't let me tie her hair back at the moment but with the help of some nice bands and grips she might be more willing to experiment.
mum
06 January, 2011
I sympathise. Luckily both mine don't mind it although when my son was a toddler he would scream blue murder and try and escape from the chair. He grew out of it.
Could a mobile hairdresser come to your house? That way she would be in a familiar environment but you'd get a professional cut. Do you know exactly why she hates it so much? Is it because of the trauma associated with the last attempt or something deeper - you mention she doesn't like change.
Could you cut out pictures of different hairstyles from a children's catalogue like Boden or La Redoute and put them on a photo of her face to show her how she could look? There are applications online to do this too for a bit of fun. Could she go with a friend at the same time with you accompanying?
Good luck!
admin
06 January, 2011
Poor you Rosie this is a really tricky situation and one that I'm sure is highly emotive at the time.
I've got a girl and two boys, and we have a barber shop round the corner which my husband has been going to for years. They are really child friendly, have child seats that look like tractors with steering wheels etc, and the kids get lollypops after their haircut. My daughter has also been going since she was a baby, just for a sit in the tractor and a lolly, and they are quite happy to trim girl's hair as well as boys. It might be worth looking around where you live to see if that is another alternative for you. I'll admit they are not going to come out with a blowdried, layered, magazine-type hairdo, but they will get what's needed trimmed off, and I find it's much much quicker (cheaper) and less faffing about than a hair salon... and if they get lollys at the end so much the better!
Good luck,
Leigh
Ready for Ten Team
dad
06 January, 2011
I found a children's hairdresser by us, but that was really only relevant when my boy was much younger. DVD players, toys, balloons etc. Mobile hairdresser seems a good idea, failing that, I'd go for sedation.
07 January, 2011
How about taking along a supportive friend? Perhaps you could invite one of your daughter's close friends (and her mum) to come along and have her hair cut at the same time as your daughter? Make it a fun outing for the both of them. Celebrate afterwards with a movie (or similar) to make it a positive, happy experience all round.
Is she too anxious to be tempted back into the hairdresser's chair by something like this?
admin
10 February, 2012
Ha ha I love your sedation idea, Ian! No, not really, I'm not that evil ;) .. I haven't had much of a problem with my boys so far but a mobile hairdresser does sound like a good idea anyway... and I love the sound of your barber's shop with the tractors, Leigh!
Your daughter will probably get really into having her hair cut at some point, Rosie - then you'll be talking her out of wanting all the expensive options out there and costing you a fortune! ;) Great post!
Sue
Ready For Ten Team
31 October, 2012
DEAR PARENT OF THIS CHILD
I WOULD SHAVE HER HAIR ALL OFF WHEN SHE IS A SLEEP AT NIGHT