Just like her mum used to be, my daughter's terrified of this popular pet.
I’ll admit it. I’m not a dog lover. It’s a shock admission I realise, but it’s true.
I don’t know a great deal about dogs; I’ve spent very little time with animals of any sort in fact. While many, like Maggie, can’t imagine family life without their canine companion, I can’t imagine life with a pet wandering around the house.
But clearly dogs are incredibly popular: Kelly recently welcomed a new puppy into the family, and both Maggie and our editor Linda took in a rescue dog, but we’ve never had a pet. That might to be why I am actually quite wary of dogs and, not surprisingly, this has rubbed off on my seven-year-old daughter. She's now very scared of them.
A discussion on Netmums reveals that she is not alone – many children are afraid of dogs, but usually this is after a bad experience. In our case it seems a lack of experience with animals is the cause.
Like mother like daughter
So severe is my daughter’s fear that she has told her friends she is allergic to dogs. That way, when she is in a situation where a dog is near, her friends will make sure they don’t come into close contact with the animal.
Amazingly, I said exactly the same thing to my friends around the same age when a dog used to regularly roam our school playing field (before the days when fences around schools were introduced).
So both of us are wary of dogs but for my daughter the fear is a lot worse. It means that trips to our local park can be traumatic at times. Any sighting of a dog and she panics, grabs on to me and drags me off in the opposite direction. Several times we have gone home as a result.
Tackling the fear
According to the kids first for health website based at Great Ormond Street Hospital, one way of tackling a fear of dogs is for kids to get to know a friend’s dog first, and spend time with them until they reach the point where they are able to stroke it with the owner nearby. The idea is that the child learns that some dogs can be trusted, well-behaved and gentle. As a result the will start to disappear and the child’s confidence around handling dogs will grow.
We’ve found some friends who have a small, yet lively, dog and my daughter is starting to spend time around him and slowly learning that the majority of dogs can be trusted. Neither of us is likely to be welcoming a dog into our home any time soon, but we’re finding that trips to the park are a lot more enjoyable than they used to be.
Have you met children with a fear of dogs? What advice could you offer us?
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editor
27 May, 2011
Hi Rosie, I just wanted to say good luck in overcoming a fear of dogs for you and IJ. I can't claim to know anything about how you can do this, but the love you can get and give from a four-legged member of the family has been life-affirming for me and my family. I grew up with a dog that was older and me and was heartbroken when he died in my mid teens, before my mum got another one some years later. I had always missed having a dog and being able to find our little Jack Russell rescue has brought us and her so much happiness, I think it's a dreadful shame for you to be scared of such bundles of fun and I really hope you can change your fear. I hope someone comes along to help. x
27 May, 2011
Greyhounds are amazing dogs for helping children overcome their fear of dogs. We back onto a primary school and regularly walk our four greyhounds when the children travelling to or from school. The children are attracted to them initially because they are tall and have such long legs, but they are also incredibly calm dogs. The majority of greyhounds will just stand and be fussed by *anyone*, big or little. We have had two PAT (Pets as Therapy) greyhounds in the past and one dog, Zack, proved to be a big hit with a local Brownie group. Even the little girl who was crying and trying to leave the room when he entered ended up stroking him and wanting to walk him. If you know anybody with a greyhound, ask them if you can 'use' their dog... or if you want to get in touch I can probably put you in contact with a greyhound owner in any part of the UK! heather.payne Good luck!
expert
27 May, 2011
That's a shame that she is so frightened Rosie. I'm not scared of dogs but neither am I a dog lover and there have been many instances, especially in France, where people let their dogs jump all over me saying "Il n'est pas mechant" which is kind of the equivalent of "He won't bite." So I don't have any advice but I do think dog owners could do people like me and your daughter a favour by not assuming we all want our faces licked by their pets. (Excuse grumpy post for the day ...:))
editor
27 May, 2011
Hi Rosie, a dog owner who used to be scared of dogs has passed on this advice:
Get a dog I was terrified of dogs until two years ago. I would take enormous detours to avoid dogs. If a dog came towards me, I would freeze up and flee.
I now own a dog and I'm no longer scared of them. Neither is my mum (who was also petrified of dogs until she met mine). We got Toq at six weeks old and it's hard to be scared of puppies.
expert
27 May, 2011
oh wow I really relate to this because I was exactly the same - terrified of dogs, then worried about passing on the fear to my children. And I can understand a child's fear, because a dog is so much closer to their size. Children are such a barometer of their parents' feelings and emotions that I'm not surprised at all that they pick up on the things we're not comfortable with.
Before I had children, I hated even passing a dog in the street and would cross the road. But now I pretend that I'm unconcerned and that walking past a dog is no problem. And the more I have pretended, the more the fear has gone and luckily hasn't transmitted to my children. Also they have a couple of friends with dogs, and time spent playing with them definitely helps.
admin
27 May, 2011
Rosie thank you for such an open and honest post. We have two black labs now, but I haven't always been a doggy person, although my husband's family have been breeding this line of Lab for about 75 years.
It was a huge culture shock to me to introduce a dog to our house when both our daughter and our pup where just a year old. It wasn't that I was scared of dogs, it was that I didn't like the chewing, dog hair, smells, accidents on the floor, all the joys of them being in season, picking up poop from the garden etc, and it took me a very long time to get used to having them as family pets. I know fears are harder to conquer than "likes" or "dislikes", but I am living proof that someone who was REALLY not very keen on dogs, can be converted :-)
Our dogs are amazing with our children, they have taught them to care about something other than themselves, they teach them about responsibility, the need for exercise and fresh air (for themselves and the dogs), and what unconditional love means from someone that can't tell you they love you in words. If you are able to, try to open your heart a little to the idea, and you might be pleasantly surprised how things turn out.
Leigh
Ready for Ten Team
mum
28 May, 2011
While it's horrible to be scared of anything, I would say that a healthy respect for animals is actually OK for children. It makes me shudder sometimes when I see children who are comfortable around dogs pulling them around and playing with them like toys... Strange dogs should always be treated with caution.
mum
29 May, 2011
@Linda, Thank you. I don't think we'd go as far as actually getting a dog, but from what you're saying we do seem to be missing out. I'd never thought that dogs could be life-affirming so your comments have got me thinking.
@Heather Thank you for such a kind offer. I'll give it some thought. I don't think we've ever spent any time around greyhounds. I had never thought of any type of dog as being calm so it's interesting to hear they are even used as therapy. That's fascinating. I think I'll look into that further, out of interest.
@Catherine, that has just reminded me. A dog jumped up at us during a holiday to France when I was a child. Maybe that was one thing that put me off dogs and has probably left me thinking of all dogs as unpredictable and even frightening, when they clearly aren't. I'm much less fearful now but I've definitely passed on those anxieties to my daughter who is so much worse than me.
mum
29 May, 2011
@Joanne, Yes, my daughter's has definitely picked up my fear of dogs as she seems to pick up my reactions to almost anything. I'm going to work on my reaction to dogs and seeing if looking unconcerned works. I'm certain it will. Thank you.
@Leigh, it's all the hairs and smells that put me off too although I'm very interested to read about how amazing your dogs are with your children. I've never viewed dogs as being animals that can teach responsilbility and unconditional love but I can see now how that makes sense.
@Ellen, I think we've being viewing all dogs as strange, and yes, like you, I've seen children playing with dogs like toys which has frightened the dogs and then frightened the children. A healthy respect for animals sounds sensible. The comments on this post have been really interested and left me viewing dogs - well some dogs - in a more positive way. There's seem a lot less to be fearful of. Perhaps a little education was needed.
mum
30 May, 2011
Some really great advice here and I just wanted to say it's worked for us. We have a friend with a friendly small dog and slowly getting to know this dog has transformed my daughter's fear. It's amazing to see how my daughter is now relaxed enough to walk along with the dog, holding the lead by herself - a real transformation. So, good luck with it Rosie.
mum
30 May, 2011
Thanks Cathy, I think getting to know a friendly small dog is what would work for us. Our neighbours have two small dogs but they are very noisy and jump up a lot which has probably made matters worse rather than better. Hopefully we can find a friend with a more approachable animal!
30 May, 2011
My little boy used to be terrified of dogs too, it started when he was running across an open field with his sister to get to the play park (I was there but just strolling along ;-)) and a big dog off the lead ran up to him and knocked him over. The dog only wanted to play but he didn't understand and in the 30 seconds it took me to get to them he was hysterical and from that point he would freeze whenever he saw a dog.
After a while we decided to get a puppy of our own not only to cure him but also because I've wanted one for ages. We went for a small bichon frise because they're excellent with kids, don't moult and don't need much exercise. They're also tiny when they're puppies and impossible to be scared of. They're now best friends and when we're out and Buddy meets new dogs, he's still cautious with the other dog but nowhere near as bad as he was.
I know getting a puppy is extreme but we were thinking of getting one anyway and it's the best thing we've done as a family.
Now I just need to conquer his fear of bees.... and ketchup touching his food.... and blood!
30 May, 2011
Rosie, I have never been a dog lover and we never had one for a pet when I was growing up either so whilst I wouldn't say I was afraid of dogs, I just never really bothered much about them. My youngest son however, had a similar experience to C Bailey, he got knocked over by a big dog when he was about 2 years old and was terrified of them from that point on. Even visiting family and friends with dogs he knew he would be hysterical. Last November, the opportunity came up through a friend of mine to re-home a small 3 year old dog, trained and used to young children, she is a cross between a Jack Russell and a Yorkshire Terrier. I was as surprised as anyone that we agreed to take her in, but it was the best thing we ever did. My son was wary of her for a week or so, but as he got to know her and realised that she just wanted to be loved, he warmed to her. Now they are best friends, he picks her up and takes her everywhere with him. When we are out he will go up to other dogs and stroke them, his fear has completely gone. He looks forward to seeing her when he gets home from school and waits for her to wake him up in a morning. I believe that having a pet, particularly a dog, teaches children so much and I'm so glad we've got her. As C Bailey says, it may sound extreme but for our children, it has been one of the best things we could ever have done.
10 February, 2012
The Essex Dog Training Centre in Brentwood, Essex, runs a Cynophobia class (which is free of charge!) every Wednesday evening, which helps Children to overcome their fear of dogs. The class is strictly supervised by Roy Dyer, the founder of the Training Centre and the Cynophobia class. All of the Dog handlers that take part are volunteers and have a great passion for Dogs and particularly for this class. Just seeing the Children growing in confidence is reward enough and better than any payment!
We have recently set up a Facebook group called: "Cynophobia Assistance Dogs - Essex Dog Training Centre" and there is some information on there about us and our class.
We are not backed by a governing medical body, nor do we make any claims that we can cure. However, we have had some very good results and the Children seem to enjoy what we do. Some have even gone on to get their own Dogs. We have also had a visit from HRH The Duchess of Cornwall, who seemed very impressed with us.
We are pleased that some of the Parents and Guardians are now asking to join our Facebook group and feedback received from them, so far, has been very complimentary. It would be lovely if you could spare some time to visit our page to see what we do.
We would love to try and help Children to overcome their fear of Dogs.