In the afterglow of the Royal wedding, Jo Middleton (no relation...) examines another princess phenomenon and asks, is this something our daughters really want?
“But kids under 12 go free Mummy!”
I was sick of hearing it.
For what felt like every day for about two years Belle, mesmerised by the TV adverts promising a world of magic, where dreams come true, had been pleading with me to take her to Disneyland Paris.
Finally I had given in.
Disappointingly, once I actually booked the break, the excitement seemed to wear off, and despite my frequent cries of “We’re going to Disneyland! Yay!” Belle no longer seemed so impressed by the prospect.
“Why aren’t you excited?” I kept asking, when my fake joviality was once again met with a withering mix of pity and annoyance.
“Well,” she would sigh, “I was. But you just keep going on about it…” Hmph. Not so much fun when the shoe is on the other foot is it Belle?
So we finally made the long-awaited trip to the glittery, over-priced land of dreams that is Disneyland Paris.
Conflicting views
I've always felt vaguely uncomfortable with Disney - princesses in particular - mainly because it stirs up such a mix of emotions in me. On the one hand, I class myself as a feminist, I campaign for equality, and I definitely don't believe every woman needs a handsome prince to rescue her.
On the other hand, there is a childlike part of me that is a sucker for all things fairytale and Enchanted is top of the list on my Sky planner. I comfort myself with the fact that Giselle's prince at least is portrayed as a complete clot, but does this make it ok?
I try to keep the Cinderella aspect of my personality hidden from my children, not wanting to give any credence the illusion that they can live happily ever after, just as soon their Prince Charming swoops in and takes charge, and I was worried about how I was going to reconcile my feminist principles with three full days of in-your-face princesses. Can you really tell your children that beauty comes from within and then stand in line with them for an hour waiting to have your photo taken with beauty and perfection personified in the form of Snow White?
As it happened, I needn't have worried. Some types of beauty it seems are best enjoyed from afar. When you watch a Disney film, the animation is fantastic, everything is produced with great care and attention, you can suspend disbelief. When you come face to face with Cinderella in a synthetic dress, with make-up apparently applied with a trowel, well, it takes the edge off the fantasy a little.
Help me out here, was our holiday a bit of harmless fun or have I effectively thrown my feminist beliefs down a magical, enchanted well?
Photo by Jo Middleton Belle looks suitably impressed by Cinders.
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editor
02 May, 2011
Hi Jo, when I visited Disney in Florida, I saw lots of little girls clip clopping their way around the park after being made over in the Bibbety Bobbety Boutique. I must admit I was taken aback and started to think about why I didn't like to see it, but then I thought I was overthinking - the girls absolutely loved it, who was I to question this? For me it's just about choice, if little girls want to play at being a princess, then that may be a lot of fun and I'm really not sure it has any effect on their hopes, dreams and aspirations for later life. I can only speak from my own experience - and I have a daughter who when watching a holiday park version of Sleeping Beauty shouted out 'don't do it' when it came to the proposal, before declaring the prince was a bit wet and that Sleeping Beauty should go out with her mates instead. I don't know where she got that from...
mum
02 May, 2011
Jo, I recently saw a video of Tina Fey talking about this and she said she decided with her daughter to treat it as a phase and point out alternatives whenever she can - you know, like asking why the princess thinks she needs a prince, that kind of thing. (Video here - I think the princess bit is about 45 mins in http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8Mkufm3ncc)
Unlike Linda, I think it does have an effect on their hopes dreams and aspirations and so while I don't think discouraging it will work (that rarely works with children, eh?), I wouldn't want to encourage it either. (On this subject, I'm reading Delusions of Gender by Cordelia Fine and recommending it to everyone.)
03 May, 2011
I grew up with fairy tales, but still managed (I hope!) to turn into a strong, independent woman. I'm with Linda - I don't really think some harmless dressing up as young children really affects us in later life.
My eight-year-old loved the Disney princesses when younger, but has come out the other side, and does not seem any the worse for it. I think a lot of their dreams and aspirations are linked to how you bring them up, and what you teach them, and show them yourselves - not influenced just by what they hear in stories and films.
admin
03 May, 2011
I wonder if Mr and Mrs Middleton asked the same questions when their daughters were little:-)
I think it's lovely - lovely for my daugter to dream of sparkly lands far away, horse drawn carriages and beautiful flowing gowns. She was so excited to watch the Royal Wedding with me, and from 6am that morning started with "is it now mummy" . She was mesmerised by the public interest, the huge church and seeing so many people so very happy to celebrate a wedding. She was overwhelmed when a real princess stepped out of the car, and even more so when she was whisked away in a horse-drawn carriage the ceremony.
In a world where there is so much evil, poverty and natural disasters, I welcome this little bit of fantasy.
Leigh
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