Have you any howlers you'd like to share?
In 20 years of journalism, one of my favourite pieces of work remains a women's magazine picture story where I shared the shocking revelation that my mum once bought me a big pair of knickers for Christmas.
Okay, it's not a shocking revelation at all, when you consider how well those sturdy pants served me. I probably couldn't fit one thigh in them now. But at the time at a sveltish (for me) 10 stone I was mortified to think my mum had plumped for a pantigirdle.
The not so magic knickers were accompanied by a cookery book packed with meals for one. Cheers Mum. I love you too.
The thought of me holding up the offending underwear and exaggerating a grimace for the camera as my mum looked on proudly still makes me smile.
This wasn't the only gift giving disaster that has become the stuff of legend in our family. Once when my dad bought me perfume, he decided to let slip that's what it was before I unwrapped it.
"Thanks Dad, just so long as it isn't Poison," I replied. "I spilled some in my room a few weeks ago and it really gives me a headache."
Predictably my poor dad was crestfallen and I cursed myself as I unwrapped my new bottle of my least favourite scent.
My own misdemeanours in the gift giving stakes haven't gone unnoticed. One year I thoughtfully chose champagne and glasses for my sister in law and a selection of jams for my granddad. Lovely.
But I got them the wrong way round and as they were unwrapped together, awkward giggles ensued.
My granddad refused to swap back. My brother was divorced some months later. I'm not sure if these events are connected.
But of course having children brings any present giving faux pas to a whole new level.
My girls were born nearly six weeks early, in October, so you can imagine our excitement when we approached our first Christmas with two tiny babies.
My brother in law shared our excitement and bought them some Maltesers. When we pointed out they couldn't possibly eat them, he bought jelly babies instead. He's now the father of two girls too so we don't tire of reminding him of his erstwhile well-meaning but way off the mark gesture.
I'm sure there are plenty more examples of presents that have caused a stir in our family, but these are the ones that still make me smile.
How about you? What have been your most memorable presents for the wrong reasons? I'd love to know.
Some better ideas
Top Christmas presents by Rosie
Sophie's review of reviews by reviewers
Maggie's doggie-licious ideas to avoid Christmas cat-astrophes
Other posts you may like
Love Linda Jones, Editor’s post? Read more 
19 Comments
Post a comment
You must be signed in to post to Ready for Ten.
Haven’t registered? It’s really quick and simple.
mum
18 December, 2010
Ha! This made me laugh so much. Back when we were newlyweds, my husband bought me a breadmaker. Expecting sexy undies or expensive perfume, I was absolutely devastated. Funny thing is, I'd really like one now, 16 years down the line!
editor
18 December, 2010
That reminds me of the time we bought our mum oven gloves as kids, perhaps she has been getting her own back.
18 December, 2010
My dear old Mum used to always buy me something woolly for Christmas (a Christmas jumper, scarf, etc) but my sister would always get perfume, silk pyjamas, jewellry etc. However, my worst ever present was a head scarf with a picture of Pope John Paul on it. And I still have it, just to show it to people who don't believe me!
mum
18 December, 2010
My aunty is famous in our family for her terrible gifts. One year she bought me a washing up bowl, dish sponges and a couple of tea towels. Lovely.
editor
19 December, 2010
A scarf with the pope on? I don't know what else to say! When I was little my nan bought me a knitting set every year, bless her, but I was so rubbish at it and didn't have the heart to tell her.
mum
19 December, 2010
Oh, notSupermum, that's outstanding! When I was a teen, my sister's then boyfriend bought me the "Jivebunny Party Album" for Christmas. Kind, as he had little money and really didn't need to buy me anything at all. However, as I generally dressed in second hand cardigans and Doc Marten boots and listened to grungy guitar music, it took some effort to feign appreciation.
mum
19 December, 2010
Don't anyone let my parents know you can get head scarfs with the pope on - we'll all be getting one!
editor
19 December, 2010
Hi Keris, my mum once bought Neil a coathanger and last year his mum gave me a piece of wiry foil to put pizza on in the oven.
19 December, 2010
DS2 is a bit of a mad professor and says what he thinks even if it's a bit blunt, there is no malice he's just very honest. DS1 made his Christmas present one year, it was a little model of something or other. DS2 opened it and said 'Oh, thanks' in a slightly bemused voice. DS1 proudly said 'I made it myself' to which DS2 replied 'Yeah, but it's not very good is it?' We have to leap in quickly when he opens presents from my in laws which are always just a bit rubbish, something picked up in a charity shop because it was cheap not because it suits the person!
mum
19 December, 2010
My son's exactly the same, Chris! My Mum bought him a t-shirt with Iron Man on (he's 15) - as soon as he opened his mouth I blurted out 'oh that's fantastic, thank you! He really liked Iron man!' to drown out the sarcasm!
19 December, 2010
Linda, I've actually found the famous scarf and you've prompted me to write a blog post about Christmas presents, will be posting it before the big day! Thanks x
19 December, 2010
Have just written about this recently after a visit to my elderly Aunt. She surpassed her previous gift of a Port and Stilton set (she hadn't refrigerated the cheese so it oozed out in the car coming home) with a gift last weekend of a packet of smoked salmon, nicely warmed up and wrapped in festive paper. It had "For your Christmas Day Breakfast" written on the tag yet the use by date was 15th December.
editor
19 December, 2010
Trish that sounds amazing. And thank you NS, can't wait to see said article.
mum
19 December, 2010
One year my mother-in-law (who loves to give slightly avant garde knitted garments) bought my two girls thick chunky Starsky-style cardis. They were hoping for High School Musical or Hannah Montana not 70s detectives!
I remember one aunt giving me knickers every Christmas - always a year or two too small. As I grew older she changed to American tan tights.
20 December, 2010
Last year my partner gave me a kettle. one daughter gave me a slushy romance novel (i never read romance novels... but after the kettle debacle i thought it might come in useful) and my other daughter gave a really rubbish book by Jeremy Clarkson, because i always howl with laughter at Top Gear. But my favourite pressie ever was a cheque for 50p from my great aunt Hilda when i was 16. i still have it.
20 December, 2010
The year my husband and I met I mentioned in passing that I loved dogs, particularly labradors. That Christmas he bought a me a framed painting of three labradors. I feigned amazement at the hideous cheesy picture.
We've moved four times since then and each time I've tried to lose it. Sadly it still hangs in the hallway outside our bedroom.
editor
22 December, 2010
Laura you could just stamp on it you know :)
editor
22 December, 2010
...hang on, a kettle?
24 December, 2010
Mamahog - if a partner ever gave me a kettle he'd end up wearing it.
Laura, did you ever get a real labrador to make up for it?