Crown jewels or Mary -- how do you find the right words?

Harry calls his penis his "weasel" - it started as a joke, but now it's stuck. I really feel like I should teach my boys the real words - we don't come up with cutesy names for other body parts, so why do it with the genitals?* - but I do struggle. I actually typed "willy" in that first sentence and then made myself change it to "penis" (because I'm 40 and supposedly a grown-up).

When Harry first asked about why I didn't have a "weasel" I completely froze. By the time I'd decided to go with the anatomical word, he'd totally lost interest. Since then I've told him it's called a "vagina" which a) isn't even correct (it's a vulva) and b) is really hard to hear a 7-yo say. But then he pronounces it "bagina" so it's not as bad as it could be.

* Yes, I snorted at that. I'm so mature.

My husband is a GP and a patient came in to his surgery with her daughter who had a problem with her Mary. Husband had no idea what she was on about and wondered if she had a sibling waiting in reception.

For some bizarre reason I used to call my bits my 'ludi'. I have no idea whether it was linked to the toilet and therefore should have been spelled 'loodi' but now I realise that ludi is Latin for 'public games'! I can assure you I'm not that kind of girl... ;-)

I think this post is going to raise some laughs! Ludi is hilarious! I also wonder at what age, a child should use the correct terminology but perhaps that's a topic for another post!

I think I'd be a little offended if I was called Mary and people used my name to refer to their most intimate parts! But I don't see a problem with childish names for children, who are, after all, childish. So long as you inform them they have 'proper' names before they get to senior school and are just bewildered in biology!

We call my daughter's bits her "Parts". It has worked pretty well! And I was thankful for a fairly non-descript term when she once asked, out loud, in the swimming pool changing room, "Why do you have furry parts, Mummy?"

My nearly four year old asked me if I had a winkie last week? When I said no, but thanks for asking, he asked me if I had a bottom instead so I had to explain that everyone has a bottom. That seemed to pacify him temporarily. Didn't go into the fact that some people talk out of theirs, I'll save that for another day!

From a very young age my 7yo has called his a dingle-dangle, I have no idea why, but I feel that when he is old enough to know proper names, he'll ask.
I did have to chuckle though, when he walked in on me on the toilet and asked how old I'd been when my dingle-dangle fell off!

Okay so I've laughed most of the way through this (especially at mumsgoneto), and I'm even blushing a little. How come we can bare all to a perfect stranger when giving birth to our children, but most of us can't say the word "penis" public? We've gone with "cookie" for a girls bits and my son chose "winky woo" (yes really) for his, which has now been taken on by my two year old... My husband (who is also a clinician) was horrified the first time my daughter and I had a conversation about her "cookie", and said he thought vagina was much more appropriate... needless to say I won :-)

Leigh
Ready for Ten Team

Oh dear, guilty of all of the above! My daughter has a 'mini moo', this must make mine the fully grown 'moo'...why....l have no idea?? And my son has a 'tinky winky' or my husband uses the more manly term ' wee willy', l have explained to my daughter who is now 7 the correct names but she still refers to her Vagina as her 'mini moo', and finds it hilarious because her friend call hers her 'Birdy'. My sister who is now 41 still can't bring herself to say vagina so she has a 'fou fou' and manages to say this with a straight face when discussing her problems with her Doctor. My daughter is mortified to think that one day soon she too will grow hair and her brother who is nearly 3 just thinks it's all 'yuck'!

Thanks for all the comments - also laughing here - and I've just remembered (been reminded) that actually, foof was short for foofydoof! (Perhaps I should have kept this quiet.) Twinkle also popular of course!

Dying to know if Keris sings 'Pop goes the Weasel' much.

Oh I'm laughing so much at these comments. Please, greekrara, tell me your sister doesn't really talk about her "fou fou" to her doctor!

And, no, we never sing Pop Goes the Weasel. The husband of one of my friends goes by the name "Weaseldance" on Twitter and that makes me laugh every time I see it.

I've since been told that Beaver is quite a popular word too!

Kim, we joked that we'd tell Harry to call it a "beaver" to keep the "weasel" theme going :S

HA! That's my husband Keris is referring to - I kept reading the comments to see if she'd mention it. Also because they're hilarious! (For the record Mr. Weaseldance also thinks the weasel / penis thing is very funny).

My daughter's not old enough to call it anything yet (I believe mine was pipi or something similar and vaguely Greek), but I imagine I'll probably go for a childish term for a while, if only for the fun of it. I'm tempted to go for something dramatic though, like 'Destroyer of Worlds'...

Then again, maybe not.

Oh "Destroyer of Worlds" made me laugh SO MUCH.

We've opted for willy and vagina in our house, and my girls have no qualms whatsoever in shouting out, 'my vagina hurts!' in the park if they fall awkwardly. It gets a few odd looks but frankly I'd rather that than have them talking about twinkles and Marys.

Incidentally, I know it should be vulva, not vagina, but that sounds a bit too much like Volvo.

Hmm, we opted for willy (house full of boys) until one boy decided to be a bit more proper. He was talking about his penis but his brother misheard and now it's a peanut for ever more.
I am also itching to share what the toddler said to his dad when they were in the bath together, but I've promised not to.

Oh Ellen, you have to - we won't tell anyone!

So funny!! Crying with laughter here.

I think I used to call mine my tuppence ha'penny or something equally coy - it was before decimalisation.